Graduated High School.
Kissed someone.
Smoked cigarettes.
Got so drunk you passed out.
Rode every ride at an amusement park.
Collected something really stupid.
Gone to a rock concert.
Helped someone.
Gone fishing.
Spun turn tables.
Watched four movies in one night.
Gone long periods of time with out sleep.
Lied to someone.
Been dumped.
Snorted cocaine.
Failed a class
Smoked weed.
Dealt drugs.
Taken a college level course.
Been in a car accident.
Been in a tornado.
Done hard drugs (i.e. ecstasy, heroin, crack, meth, acid).
Watched someone die.
Been to a funeral.
Burned yourself.
Ran a marathon.
Lost your virginity.
Your parents got divorced.
Cried yourself to sleep.
Spent over $200 in one day.
Flown on a plane.
Cheated on someone.
Been cheated on.
Written a 10 page letter.
Gone skiing.
Been sailing.
Cut yourself.
Had a best friend.
Lost someone you loved.
Shoplifted something.
Been to jail.
Had detention.
Got in trouble for something you didn't do.
Stolen books from the library.
Gone to a different country.
Dropped out of school.
Been in a mental hospital.
Watched the "Harry Potter" movies.
Had an online diary.
Fired a gun.
Gambled in a casino.
Had a yard sale.
And a lemonade stand. 
Been in a school play.
Been fired from a job.
Taken a lie detector test.
Swam with dolphins.
Gone to sea world.
Attempted suicide.
Voted for American/Australian Idol.
Written poetry.
Read more than 20 books a year
Gone to Europe.
Loved someone you couldn't have.
Wondered about your sexuality.
Used a coloring book over age 12.
Had surgery.
Had stitches.
Taken a taxi.
Seen the Washington Monument.
Had more than 5 IM's/online conversations going at once.
Overdosed.
Had a drug or alcohol problem.
Been in a fist fight.
Suffered any form of abuse.
Had a hamster.
Petted a wild animal.
Used a credit card.
Gone surfing in California.
Did "spirit day" at school.
Dyed your hair.
Got a tattoo.
Had something pierced.
Got straight A's.
Been on the Honor Roll.
Your parents sent you to a shrink.
Been handcuffed.
Known someone with HIV or AIDS.
Taken pictures with a webcam.
Started a fire
Had a party while your parents weren't home.
Gotten caught having a party while they were gone.
Done surveys like this to pass the time.

Its been so long since I've done this. It feels sort of funny. But I'm giving it a shot...

I know that you don't like that I feel like I have to plan everything out, and I'm starting to hate it too. I feel like the weekend is already over and it hasn't even begun.

I know that when I get out of school I'll just sit here anxiously awaiting a call from you, and if you want to see me I'll try my hardest to make it "fun" again. And if you don't want to see me, then I'll just sit here for a lack of anything better to do. I'll have to be home by 10 anyway, and I know there will be something you'd rather do than be with me, but you won't do it because you feel obligated to make me "happy." I know it's selfish of me, but I'm glad you do it.

I'll take the ACT the next morning and then I'll meet you at the church. I don't know if you really want me there, and I won't have an awesome time, but we'll be there "together," and that is what makes me happy, it makes me feel whole. At 8 I'll have to take Lilly and Rachael to Homecoming, and you'll either just sit with me until then to fulfill this so-called "obligation," or maybe we'll have "fun" again, I don't know. You'll probably have to go to church, so I can't dissect this day as much as I feel I have to.

I'll work Sunday morning and then I'll call you. Maybe we'll go to the beach, rent a movie, go out for lunch. I'll feel satisfied, but you won't. Maybe you'll have to go to church, I don't know, I'm learning to play this by ear. It's hard because I don't know how to handle not knowing, but you tell me you don't mind dealing with it.

I don't know what's got into me, maybe its part of the terror I had last week, but I have to stop making excuses. We have to make this right again. I shouldn't think the way I do.

Please don't give up on me. I need you.

so this is how my day goes

sleep, wake up, sit, sit, sit, eat, sit, sit, sit, finish watching amores perros, sit, sit, sit, sit, put towels in the dryer, sit, sit, sit, sit, watch the weather, sit, sit, sit, sit, make this entry, sit, sit, sit, sit, sit, swim 4-830, sit, sit, sit, sit, sit, try to sleep again

im wasting so much time

i feel like crying

i need someone to tell me things are ok